It is killing me that people are basing their self worth off of those things. And it kills me that some people think I am basing my self worth off of them. I've said it a hundred times and I still mean every word - I could close this blog today and it wouldn't change anything about me.
Do I love that there are people who care about what I post? People who try my recipes? People that have prayed for my kids and this adoption process we are in? YES. 100 percent YES. I have made so many great friends through this process. I interact with so many cool people on twitter nearly every day and I wouldn't have met them if it wasn't for this blog.
But this blog doesn't define me. I don't blog to gain the most readers or hits or any of that. I blog things that interest me. Recipes I really love. Things I like to do. Stuff about my kids that I just don't want to forget, but I'm not crafty enough to scrapbook. Our family vacations. Stuff I learn that I think you might want to learn too.
Do I think it's cool when I hit certain milestones? Yes, I do. The fact that 4 million people have come to this blog amazes me. I think it's awesome. I love that so many of you were here when I needed you, when my son was very sick and fighting for his life. You were here and you prayed for us. Left us words of encouragement. Loved us. I see that number and that is what I think about. To me, that is the heart of the blogging community - people coming together to support one another.
I can't pretend to be someone I'm not, and I never, ever want to. I'm quirky and weird and not your cookie cutter housewife. I love to bake and crochet and stay home. I love to read weird books that not everyone is into. I watch TV shows that people complain about. I love Twilight and Harry Potter and Pretty Little Liars. I am perfectly happy spending all my time with my family and rarely going out. I never put my kids in MDO and I about lost it when we enrolled Brayden in Pre-K, but I knew he needed it so I did it.
I know I don't always say the cool thing, I'm not always part of the most "in" crowds. That's okay with me - it's never been my desire to be the "it" girl. As long as I'm being true to myself, following my own heart and doing what I feel is right, that's what matters to me.
I think our differences are what make us each unique and special. This is who I am. And I never want to be anyone else.